Sunday, June 04, 2006

Kurokami ni Amaryllis by Kawai Naoko

June marks my 16th year in Canada, 21st year in North America.. how time flies...I still remember leaving Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong in 1985 for university in the States..I would never have thought that after having stayed in New York for 2 years, I would be spending the next 3 years in Berkeley(1 yr) and Ann Arbor(2 yrs).. then Toronto..

Being brought up in a very traditional Chinese family, I find it sometimes very hard to strike a balance between my Chinese and North American "personality"...At work, I have to "act" as white as I possibly can.. especially working in an industry that is dominated by whites... at home, when my mother was still around, I would have to be this "perfect son", being the oldest son in my family was not helping..so many responsibilities..sometimes could be really tiring... In fact, my degree in Marekting was mainly because it was a more acceptable field of study in the Asian community other than Medical, Accounting, Engineering, etc...If I had a choice, it would have been Linguistics..but that wasn't something they could tell our relatives and neighbours...

And being a gay Asian in Toronto also has its challenges... sometimes, feel like an invisible man..

At work, I look too young... in the gay community, I am too old, so I was told by some.. go figure..If Brad Pitt at 42 can go out with someone 12 years younger than him, why can't I do the same?

In the album titled Japan released in 1985 by Kawai Naoko, there was a song about this girl named Amaryllis, who was exactly in this situation:

6 Comments:

At 6:49 AM, Blogger James said...

I understand the challenges presented. I don't think you should be going out with someone that much younger, unless they have a mindset as mature as yours, unless you feel like you want someone to look after and love.

The gay community can be very pretentious, but there are exceptions. I believe it depends on the group of friends that you choose to hang out with and where. It is not easy to find a best friend and lover, but I am confident that with your good looks and brain, you will land a good catch.

Reading your newer post, it seems like you have no lack of suitors, but maybe you are a little afraid, but just remember that they are just as frightened as you are. Take a chance next time, my dear friend. You might end up not with a lover, but maybe a new friend, and sometimes, that is better than the real thing.

 
At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very pretty site! Keep working. thnx!
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At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
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At 6:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about 24 years younger...

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Jack said...

and you are?

 
At 6:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

votre jeune admirateur, monsieur le beau.

 

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