Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Desparate Housewives at my gym

Something is definitely wrong with certain women at my gym.. for some reasons they don't like guys waiting for their turn for the machine these desparate housewives were monopolizing, if you know what I mean.
Today, while I was waiting for my turn to use the ab crunch bench, this desparate housewife,who had been using it for more than 10 mins, started to scream at me, bitching about my standing in front of the bench. She said I was making her uncomfortable. Good lord, there was really no other place to stand and wait other than in front of her.. so I gently asked her what her issues were, while doing that, the guy using the bench next to her came to my rescue. He said there was nothing wrong with where I stood.. this desparate housewife immediately changed her target and started to scream at this guy as well... I told her I didn't mind waiting at all as I had plenty of time and it wasn't like she was going to do alot more.. Guess how she responded.. she said she was going to do 5000 reps(for your information, this desparate housewife was quite ugly and out of shape and if she was doing her ab crunches properly, her eyes should stay focused on the ceiling and wouldn't notice where I was).. So this is what I told her: You should either get your own private gym or go see a shrink as obviously you have some personal issues you need to get resolved

A few months ago, a smilar incident happened to me while I was waiting for my turn to use the bench press machine.. another desparate houswife..

Driving home tonight after my work out, I had all these thoughts and unanswered questions:

1. Are these women going through menopause or have some kind of hormone imbalance?
2. Are these women doing this purposedly so they can get attention from other men working out in the gym? so I just happened to be the victim that day?
3. There are gyms that are women exclusive, why don't these desparate housewives join those?
4. Why don't they work out at home if they don't want to share?
5. Do these desparate housewives have an unhappy childhood?
6. I feel sorry for their kids, partners/husbands and co-workers. They have to deal with these women at home or at work.
7. When was the last time they get laid, if at all?
8. Should I buy them a vibrator next time I see them in the gym?
9. Memoirs of a low class Geisha
10. Kmart and Walmart
11. Track pants with high heels
12. Madonna's unshaven armpits

Or maybe, I should just join a gay gym..


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